By- V

Falling apart…ever so slowly, feeling my heart break in two. Wishing I could stop the pain, wishing I could help you… but I can only watch as it flashes across your face… it tears me apart, to have to watch... Reaching out for you, only to fall short, seeing the tears run down your face… knowing I can’t fix it, but wanting to so badly…but all I can do is say I’m sorry…

Used and Confused

I’m tired of waiting, waiting for you to see how special I really am. I’m tired of being last, I’m tired of caring and not getting the same care, I don’t want to be second or third or whatever number I may be in your life, if you don’t care for me as I care for you then let me go. Don’t hold me here, promising me things and breaking them over and over; don’t make me believe in you only to be lied to. Set me free, I’m tired of being the one who sits here in case you lose someone else, the shoulder you cry on, then the one you leave when someone new comes along. You won’t hold me but you won’t let me go either, you keep me in a cage for your own benefit. I don’t understand why I’m not good enough, or why I’m not enough for you. I’m confused, and wish I knew what was wrong with me… I wish I understood the reasons of why you treat me so, but alas I doubt I’ll ever know.
So here’s something you should listen to, I’m special, maybe not for you but for someone else, I’m good enough for others even if I may not be for you, they care for me when you do not. I’m escaping your lies, and setting myself free, I’m turnin’ myself loose, I’m escaping this cage you’ve put me in, so goodbye and good luck. Don’t try to catch me, don’t try to stop me, I’m leaving because I deserve better than this and you.

Wondering if anyone feels as alone as I do…wishing I knew if someone is actually there for me, knowing I just need to wait, and feeling crushed because it’s taking so long. Not knowing if I’m waiting for someone special or nothing at all… but there must be someone out there? Someone who knows how I feel, and knows how to make me feel better. Someone I can connect with, someone who will always care about me no matter how crazy I might get. Someone I can always trust, and go to when I need to talk, who will be there when I want a hug. Someone who can tell if I’m upset even if I smile as if nothing is wrong, they’ll be there to talk or just to listen. Someone I don’t have to be afraid to turn to… I’ll be able to tell them everything, and they’ll still love me even if I sound crazy, even if I don’t fit in. someone who thinks I’m amazing even if I don’t think I am. So, I’m still waiting for that special someone…